Connect

So I read Inger's blog on a regular basis. She is a wonderful writer and always makes me think. I don't always comment because I don't have anything insightful to say, but I love reading her thoughts. I feel a kinship with her and I don't even know her. I feel a kinship with her son Liam too and am intrigued by the person he is.

All this may sound so weird, like I've really lost my ever-lovin' mind, but I can explain. See Inger is part of the trinity, so am I and so is Liam. We are the faces of adoption. I am a birth mom, Liam is an adoptee and Inger is his forever mom. I am not Liam's birthmother, I'm Gabby's birthmother. She was born almost eleven years ago.

I was beginning my senior year in college when I found out I was pregnant. To say it was an unplanned pregnancy is a gross understatement. I was a party girl; a free-loving spirit, sometimes angst-ridden mostly out for a good time, party girl. I went to a very small Catholic college and I had a wonderful circle of friends and I was pregnant with not a boyfriend’s baby, not even an acquaintance’s baby, but basically a stranger’s baby. What's a girl to do? I was raised by very Catholic, very right-winged parents who went through unplanned pregnancies with 2 other daughters. I was supposed to be the one who learned from their mistakes. I was supposed to be the "good" girl to follow in my parents footsteps; I was attending their alma mater after all. I was supposed to be a shining example of what great parents they were and here I show up pregnant my due date being the day I was to accept my diploma.

Those days after the stick turned were dark days for me. Being raised pro life and believing that life began at conception, I now had a kinship with all of the women who felt abortion was a good option. I had a real internal struggle over that decision. I can't say that I'm a supporter of abortion, but I know I can empathize with those who make that choice. You know that having a baby, or not having a baby, for that matter, will change your life forever. I decided that it would add insult to injury if I went against a basic belief of mine. I mean, how can you live with yourself if you go against something you've believed in with your whole heart? Besides feeling the shame of my pregnancy, I would then feel shame for being a hypocrite; going against my own moral compass? So I decided to tell my parents and face my future head on, whatever that would be.

The rest of the story is for another post. I just read Inger's blog and her struggles and triumphs as a mother and I feel connected to this stranger. How precious life is and how amazing it is that each choice we make can impact another human being, even when we don't know each other. It's a beautiful thing.