Tunnel of Love

I don't know what the hell is going on, but my hormones are on fire. Since I'm no longer on the pill or having babies or breastfeeding, I've been acutely aware of all the aspects of my cycle. I read somewhere that some women get horny during ovulation. It's all a part of that evolutionary thing of perpetuating the species, I guess. Anyway, holy god have I been one walking hormone lately!!!

I told Craig that maybe I'm dropping a couple of eggs instead of one. He's been pretty pleased with what he's gotten out of my sexual rampage, but he's a bit tired. AW! I also have been reading these erotic novels my sister gave me for my birthday which I KNOW has contributed to the week of non-stop sexcapades.

Normally I read romance novels--don't judge me! I have been known to read mainstream fiction as well, with an occasional biography. Anyway, I think romance novels are good for the sex life because they get you thinking in the right direction. Craig has definitely benefited from my reading because he has less work to do in the foreplay department. Anyway, these erotic books are...well...holy crap! They make me want to jump him when he walks in the door. It helps that they're not just straight porn; there's a plot of sorts. My only complaint is the anal sex. Yes, I said A-N-A-L S-E-X!

I consider myself pretty adventurous in the bedroom, but the anal sex has never been a part of my personal repertoire. It's never even occurred to me. These books have some explicit anal scenes and I have to say that it took me totally off guard. Regular romance novels don't have anal scenes. Shoot, they don't even call male and female sex organs by name. They use euphemisms like "his throbbing manhood" or her "womanly mound". I know, grossly pathetic! These erotic books are more straight forward, which is nice (wink, wink)! However when making references to the anal sex they used the euphemism "dark channel". WHAT?!?!?!?!? EWWWWWW!!! You had me going there, for a minute I was humoring the anal idea, but DARK CHANNEL? I don't think so. That just sealed the deal for me. Anal sex, no, uh-uh, not gonna do it!

So there you have it, I'm horny, but no anal sex for me! Please feel free to give me your feedback on the anal subject. Am I a prude? Is there some unspoken sexual conspiracy out there? Is everyone having anal sex except me? Don't get me wrong, it won't change the facts; no tube-steak, butt ramba going on in this house, but I just want to know the skinny on the subject.

Have a nice weekend, my reader friends.