Gym Ponderings

I was on the treadmill yesterday and couldn't help but notice the woman directly in front of my on the elliptical. It's hard not to notice the person right in front of you when you're on those machines...their ass is right in your face. Anyway, she was wearing a thong with her spandex workout pants. She had kind of a cottage cheesy ass so I was thinking, "Good for you getting back into the gym!" You know, trying to be judgmental and encouraging in one fell swoop. Well, the woman got off the machine and when I saw her profile I immediately saw that she was pregnant.

Now I felt like a real shit for judging her cottage cheese ass, because if ever there's a time you have a free pass to be out of shape, it's when your preggers. Any who, then I was thinking, "Who in the hell wants a thong up your ass when you're twelve months pregnant?" Maybe it's my bad memories of pregnancy hemorrhoids (I know...too much information) or maybe it's my aversion to thongs, I don't know, but it seemed odd to me. Besides, when I'm wearing my spandex workout pants they have a cotton panel in the crotch, I don't wear any undies. I wish the other chicks at the gym would take note. I think it looks repulsive to see there thong through the spandex.

On a slightly different note, here are five reasons I need to get back into shape:

5. I love guacamole more than any human should.
4. Holiday eating got way out of control this year.
3. I think my stamina during sex was better when I was down a few more pounds.
2. I am uncomfortable in my favorite pair of jeans.

...And the number one reason I need to get back into shape:
It's cheaper to get drunk when I have less body fat.

Have a nice weekend!