WWJD, really?

So I'm in the middle of my morning, cleaning the kitchen, having my coffee, reading the paper while listening to Regis and Kelly when all of the sudden it all just stopped. See I came upon an article in the paper about the Catholic Church and adoption.

From reading my blog many of you know that I placed a baby for adoption almost eleven years ago. Also from reading my blog you know I was raised Catholic. So when I was looking into adoption agencies I naturally chose to use Catholic Social Services. I had a wonderful open adoption experience. I was treated with love and compassion. My social worker was a nun who was not only kind, but very knowledgeable about the legalities of adoption. I was counseled and advocated for and I felt and still feel that this was the best place for me to find a family for my daughter.

So today it saddened me so deeply to read an article that states that the Boston Archdiocese will be ending their role in adoption because of a state law allowing gays and lesbians to adopt. The archdiocese says that they encountered a "dilemma" they cannot solve. The article goes on to say that in 2003 the Vatican wrote that gay adoption was "gravely immoral" and children placed in such homes would be "deprived of the experience of either motherhood or fatherhood." I've not been a "practicing Catholic" for five years. I've really struggled with this since so much of my life and family traditions have been steeped in the churches rituals and teachings.

It's hard to let go of something that has been so much a part of my life; having said that, I really don't want to be a part of something that is so blatantly hypocritical. The churches stance on this particular subject really hits home due to my connection with adoption. It's been my experience that gay couples are less likely to discriminate against drug babies, HIV positive babies and babies of a different race. Why would the church turn there backs on those children with such a great need to be loved and couples who in turn are willing to give so much love?

I just don't understand why this whole issue is so confusing for religious. Aren't we taught to love one another? Isn't it the basics of Christianity to embrace each other in our likeness and differences? What about God is Love? There seems to be no compassion, no understanding and no willingness to be open. Part of the adoption process is to take it case by case, and here the church is just making on blanket denial based on what? One positive side to the article was that in December the 42 member board of the Boston Catholic Charities voted unanimously to continue to consider gay couples in the adoption process. In learning of the archdiocese's decision, eight members stepped down from their positions on the board to protest. Maybe there are some voices of reason in the church and they won't just blindly accept this kind of discrimination.

Religion can really test a person's faith! I've never wavered in my basic beliefs. I've always had a great relationship with God and have had total faith in His role in my life. I've missed going to church. I've missed the community of church. I've missed the sights and smells of mass. But I just feel like I have to listen to what my heart is telling me and that is that my place may not be in that church any more. I don't know where my journey will lead me at this point. I'm just not sure I feel comfortable in a place that alienates an entire section of the population that I've found to be accepting and loving.