Men Suck!

Okay, I don't really mean that. Personal grooming just puts me in a bad mood, especially toward men. So we have a formal event to go to tonight. I was really getting pissed last night as I was getting a backache from painting my toe nails. That got me on a roll.

We dye our hair, wax, pluck, shave, paint, pat, line and it's all such a pain in the ass, literally and figuratively. My husband gets out of the shower, runs a razor across his face, gets dressed and he's gone. Whoa! It's enough to make me want to poison his pot roast!

And another thing...

Why is it that whenever there's a time when you want to look your best you have to put up with zits? I swear, backne (that's back acne) is the bane of my existence. When I want to look elegant and classy, I get a big red zit somewhere. In this case it's on my back, just in time for me to put a formal on that displays what?...MY BACK!!!

When I was in the wonderfully awkward throes of puberty I had clear, beautifully olive skin. Now, I'm in my thirties and I have zits. Zits on my face, zits on my neck, zits on my chest, zits on my back. Now granted, it's not as if I'm covered in boils, but I won't be in the next Dove ad either. I thought if you lived through the agony that is your teen years, and then survived the insanity of your twenties, it would be relatively smooth sailing. Well, not entirely, but at least with my appearance. I think I might be more insecure now than I was in high school. Oh now that's embarrassing to admit!

Are we destined, as women, to be obsessed with grooming? The cosmetic industry is banking on that. I wish I didn't care, but I'm finding that the girly girl in me can't cope without trying to look my best. I just wish that "my best" didn't include Nair and benzoyl peroxide!